Gamot, 10Nov2006

ANAK: nay! uminom po ako
ng baygon!
INAY: bkt mgsusuicide ka?!

ANAK: di po! nkalunOk ks ako
ng buhay n ipis.
INAY: tanga! iinom k ng gamOt
e ndi k p nagla2unch!

Quote of the day, 10Nov2006

"Ayoko na! Bakit kapag
nagmamahal ako nagagalit
sila?"





-gasolina

Chain message, 08Nov2006

97% of txtrs woNt seNd this!


"when Jesus died on the
cross HE was thinking of u!"


if u are one of the 3% hu
wiLL stand up 4 him 4ward it
as maNy as u caN.

Cute, 08nov2006

What do u do wen u see an
extremely cute person?...
Me,i stare at dat person en
smile,but when i get tired,i
put d mirror dOwn..hehehe!

Mare, 08nov2006

MARE1:
pano mo nga2wang
npapauwi ng maaga asawa
mo?


MARE2:
tntxt ko sya.. :



'SEX WILL DEFINITELY START
AT
8 O'CLOCK..
WITH
OR
WITHOUT
YOU!" ;-)

Kinatatakutang ari, 08nov2006

Ano ang tawag s nkktakot na
ari ng babae?











ISPUKI!!!

Nanay, 08nov2006

problemado
ka?


at wlang
pera?


e2 ang
sgot jan


just txt..


NANAY
PENGEPERA


at isend s number nya


ang dali db?! =555

Organs, 07nov2006

THE EYES
are d organs 4
seein.

THE EARS
are d organs 4
hearin.

THE TONGUE
is d organ 4
tastin someone
else's organ.
hahaha!;)

Interview, 07nov2006

INTERVIEWER to APPLICANT:
Miss, bakit MWF ang sagot
mo sa bio data mo sa SEX?

APPLICANT: Sir, sa totoo
lang, pwede po ako araw
araw, nahihiya lang ako
magsabi!

Cancer, 07Nov2006

sa 1 ospital...


LOLA:(may cancer) dok,
anong gagawin ninyo sa
akin?

DOK: che-chemo lola.

LOLA: titi morin! Bastos ka!
Walang modo!

Quote of the day, 07nov2006

"Hindi
lahat ng
bubuyog
kulay itim!"



-Jollibee

State secret, 06nov2006

Man entered Malacanang &
shouted 'magnanakaw si
Gloria!' He was sentenced to
2years for oral defamation
and 20yrs for revealing a
state secret!

Christmas gift, 06nov2006

CHRiSTMaS
is N d air!
i wud
Lyk 2
4maLy
anNoUncE
dt im aLrEAdy
aCcpTngGiFTS
&
CAsH
av0id hOLidAy rUsh!
sEnd it nOw!
sHaReloAds
r aLso aCceptd..hehehe!

kapatid, 06nov2006

BOY1:ngaalala q s kpad q.
BOY2:bkit?

BOY1:lgi nya kc knkausp srili
nya dti.Pro ngyn d n.
BOY2:d mgling n sya.Bt d n
nya knkausp srili nya?

BOY1:mgkglit dw sila e.

New day, 06nov2006

It'z a
brnd
new
day,
Open ur

eyes & see.

Open ur

ears & hear

Open ur

heart & feel

But dnt
open
ur
mouth,
PATAY TAU
DYAN!
Mum0g k muna!
gndnag umaga...

Impyerno, 06Nov2006

SA IMPYERNO


SATANAS: pppiliin kta ng gs2
mong parusa k0 syp!mamili
ka sa 3 kwar2 ng kparusahn!

binuksan 1st rum:
1 man nkkdena hbng unti
unting inilubog s dgat ng
apoy

LALAKE: yoko jn!

2nd rum:
1man nkkdena hbNG nlalatigo

LALAKE: y0k0 dn jn!

3rd rum:
1 old man nkkdena hbng bni-
BJ ng 1 sexy bebot

LALAKE: jan! jan ako dapat!




SATANAS:
kinalAbit c sexy, "my kpalit
ka na!" =)0

Chosen and blessed, 06Nov2006

Wondrful THINGS r carefuly
created by GOD! Wondrful
MOMENTS r carefuly planned
by GOD! Wondrful PERSONS
like U r carefuly chosen &
blessed by GOD.. , Gud am!

Charlie's angels, 06Nov2006

Mga anak (3plets na lalake):
Tay! Bili mo kmi tg-iisng baril!

Itay: Wow! pglaki nyo plagay k
sundalo kyo.

(pgkabigay ng baril)

Anak: Get redi girls.
Charlie's calling!

Iksirsays, 06Nov2006

in heLL..










eks hel..

inhel, eks hel!

IKSIRSAYS na!
hahahaha!

Money bees, 03nov2006

k k k k k -these
are MONEY Bees.. Pass them
to 6 good people & be rich
in 4 Days. I am not joking.if
u delete u woll beg. trust
me..(just try)

Girls, 03Nov2006

Some girls beg & some girls
borrow.
Some girls lead & some firls
follow.
Some bring joy & some
bring sorrow.
But d best girls daw are
those who suck & swallow!

Garden, 03Nov2006

Hay! Buhay,

pg BATA kpa
ROSE GARDEN

pg teenager k
METEOR GARDEN

pg mddleage n
BEER GARDEN

pg dtng OLD
age "MEMORIAL GARDEN"-
hapi all saints/souls day!

Baliw, 03nov2006

BALIW: dok,mlungkot d2 s
mental kya naisipan kong
sulatan and aking srili...

DUKTOR: ano nman ang
laman ng sulat mo?

BALIW: aba, ewan ko,next
week ko pa mttngap.

Maasim, 01Nov2006

MR: malamg na
snangag,
matabang na
kape,maalat na
sabaw,. paan0 k
gaganahan
nyan?..

MRS: h0y,s0bra
k na.. nagrkLam0
ba q kgabi kht
MAASIM ANG
iTLOG MO!?

Ms. Prekprek, 01Nov2006

TEACHER: class,may name is
MS. PRUKE! w/ R! Ang
mkalimot pipingutin ko!

knbukasan..

TEACHER:Pedro,wats my
name?

PEDRO:Alam ko un.
w/ R un.
m'am,
MS. PREKPREK!

Gay in the army, 01Nov2006

A gay in the army came late
for PE. The men ahead of
him were all naked ready
for inspection. He looked &
shouted,

"Dios ko mabuwang ako! EAT ALL U
CAN! ahahay!!!"

Money matters, 01nov2006

GUY1: Lam m0, last month
isinama ko firlfrnd ko sa
bahay ng lolo kong
milyonaryo..

GUY2: -h, bkit malungkot
ka? Anong nangyari?

GUY1:Ayun, lola ko na sya
ngy0n!

Corporate codes, 01Nov2006

CORPORATE CODES
FOR D OFICE GIRL:
VP-virgin pa.
SVP-sana virgin pa.
FVP-feeling virgin pa.
EVP-ewan kung virgin pa.
CEO-certified expert in
oral sex.
CFO-Clearly Fucked
0vernight.

Rubbing Oil, 01Nov2006

TEACHER:"Juanito, why do u
rub oil on your head
whenever I'm teaching?

JUANITO:"Kasi m'am, I heard
my mom telling my dad to
rub oil in d HEAD pag ayaw
pumasok!

Bong vs Lito, 01Nov2006

Teacher: anu sa inglis ang
bulak, bong?

BONG: Ma'am, cotton.

Teacher: gud, anu sa inglis
ang bulaklak, lito?

LITO: ma'am, cotonton!
c".)

Pila!!!, 01Nov2006

Anong sabi ng SIPON sa
KULANGOT?
"Manigas ka jan!"

E,anong sabi ng UTOT sa
TAE?
"Mauna na ako syo ha?"

E, ang TAE sa
TAE?
"Tang-ina, wlang
TULAKAN... pila-pila
lang!!!

Chain messages, 01Nov2006

kng cno man kaung mahilig
mgpadala ng mga chain msgs
na walang kwenta,tgilan nyo
na ako!!! Punong-puno na ako!!!







Pls. pAss dis to 10 persons &
mke a wish.

Quote of the day, 01Nov2006

Inspiring quote of d day:







"Tinatamad na akong
maging tamad."

GOOD MORNING NA LANG!

In the courtroom, 01Nov2006

A Lawyer examining a
witness on a car accident.

LAWYER: where were u
sitting when the impact
came?
INTERPRETER: saan ka
nakaupo ng dumating
ang IMPAKTO?

Buhay, 01Nov2006

Ang buhay
ay parang
"holiday"

pAg mAsAya k
"Pasko"

pAg
ngdaDAlAmhaAti k
"Holy Week"

pAg
umiibig k
"Valentines Day"

Tumingin k lng s
salamin,
"halloween" na!

Raspa, 30Oct2006

NARS: Doc, bat tinanggihan
nyo yung pasyente?
DR: Alin, yung bakla?

NARS: Opo. Baka sabihin namimili
tayo, porke't bading sya.
DR: Ano naman raraspahin ko
sa kanya?

Bagong kasal, 30Oct2006

MRS: Ano ba? 2 days na
tayong kasal, la pa rin
MR: Kc pagod ako.

MRS:Cge ka,pag ayaw mo,
maghahanap ako ng iiyot s
kin
MR:Cge,gwin mo dlawa,tig
isa tyo..
ahahay!

3 S, 27Oct2006

Always
seek
the 3 S's:
Silence
of the
mind;

Serenity
of the
spirit;

for these are
the keys
to a
happy LIFE... :)
gud m0wn!ng:-)

Going to heaven, 27Oct2006

Teacher asked:
"Which part of the body goes
to heaven 1st?"

A kid replied:
"FEET, coz every night I see
mom,her feet up high &
screaming:
"Oh God, I'm coming!" :)

Hippo, 26Oct2006

Boy1: Bkt mo ako sinuntok?
Boy2: Tinawag mo ako
hippopotamus!

Boy1: Last year pa yon
tarantado!
Boy2: E kanina ko lang
nakita picture ng
hippopotamus tanga!

txt, 26Oct2006

S tuwing tntxt mo ako..












Natatanggap ko naman.

God's gift, 26Oct2006

G0dm Gv me
a Gft..


wrapd n GLitterinG
G0Ld..


mch t0 my
surprse
wn i opend it..


i f0und u!..


sbi k0..
'c G0d tLGa..
Nxt wk pa holoween


nanank0t na!:-)

Genius, 26Oct2006

Frequent sex makes people
smart. 0rgasm stimulates &
rejuvinates brain cells
making the person very
intelligent. Gud pm, genius!

Bowel movement, 26Oct2006

PATIENT: Doc I regularly
move my bowel every
morning at 7!

DOC: Whats wrong with that?

PATIENT:Kc I wake up at 8am!!!

Tigasin, 26Oct2006

Rest
ka ng
maaga
dahil pagsapit ng dilim ay
babangon ang
mga...

,(')
/ /
( )) TIGASIN! Awoooh!

Health Advisory, 26Oct2006

hEaLtH adVis0rY:
aNg kapE aY pMpNeRbY0s,
sMnTLnG aNg gaTaS aY
pMpaLaKaS. kYa hUwaG
uMin0m nG KaPeNg mY
gaTas dHL it0'y pmPaLaKaS
nG nErbYoS... Concernd lng
po!

Alcohol, 24Oct2006

MAN: Can I buy you a drink?
WOMAN: no thank you. I
discovered alcohol is bad
for my legs.

MAN: SorRY to heat thAt,do
they swell?
WOMAN: No,they just
SPREAD! :-)

Starbucks, 24Oct2006

Erap at Starbuck's Cafe!
ERAP:Waiter ,isang kape nga.
WAITER:Sir ,decaf ho ba?
ERAP:Siempre! bobo! Putang
ina lahat ng kape de cup!
Bakit may nakaplato ba?!
Tanga!

lasenggo, 24Oct2006

2 men, dringking:


MAN1: Pre, bkit hanggang
ngyon, wla kapa ring jowa?
tngnan m ko, nkakailan na.
wla k bang ntitipuhan?



MAN2:(blushed)
Meron. Manhid k lng kc. :)

Probinsyano, 24Oct2006

2 probnxano
sumakay sa elevator,
BERTO: Mgkano
ibbayad ntn?
RICARDO: Tanng! Bobo! Eng-
Eng! ignorante!
Bugok! istupido!
Bkt ka
mgbbayad eh
wla pa ung
KUNDUKTOR!

MATUNAW KA!, 24Oct2006

' ' ' ' ' ' '
' '
' '
' '
' '
' '
' '
+








MATUNAW KA HALIMAW!!! =)

Haligi, 24Oct2006

ANAK: tay sbi Teacher nmin sa values ikaw ang HALIGI sa pmilya. C nanay anu xa tay?
TATAY: anak sbihn mo sa Teacher s NANAY ang NAGPAPATIGAS SA HALIGI NI TATAY! :-)

what's common?, 24Oct2006

What's common between
the sun & a panty?


1. both make men feel hot.
2. both look better while going down.
3. both disappear at night.

Mr. & Ms, 23Oct2006

_Do u hav d
luks? ..



Do u hav d
charm? ..



Let us see..



If u hav wt it
takes..



2 b d 1st..



"Mr.&Ms. Undas"
2006


sali ka na bilis!_

kainis!, 14Oct2006

Nainis
din
ako
nung
nabasa
ko
2...

The mummy returns, 14Oct2006

Stars+moon
=romantic nyts


Brids+sky
=luvly day


Forest+animals
=byutiful world


u +ur smile


The
MUMMY
returns...! ! ;-)

Pagbabago, 14Oct2006

cMuLa NuNg bAtA aQ...


MarAmInG bGaY aNg NbAg0..


UgALi..


KaIbIgAn..


pEr0 1 bGaY lNg AnG hND..


lAm m0 qNg aNo Un??


FISHBOL,
50c pa rn!

gUd am!

Byahe tayo!, 12Oct2006

Nkakita knb
ng white lady
s balete?



0 matusok
ng ice pick
s pglakad
s t0nd0?



Nka pik-up knb
ng pr0sti
s quez0n ave.?



Npg 3pan ng TBS
s sampal0c



p mpa-ramb0l
s sta.ana?



Ndukutan knb
s dvis0ria.?



O nai-snatchan ng
bag s letre.?



Naho0ldup knb
s recto?



0 maagawan ng
celf0ne
s m0numento?



Tara na! Byahe tay0!
Nang ating makita ang
ganda ng
PILIPINAS at galing ng
PILIPINO!

Ngiti, 12Oct2006

pg
ngumingti
isng ta0
my dhln
pwdng
iniicp nya
ta0ng mhl nya
o ky nmn
inluv sya!
ky pg nkkta
ktng
ngumingiti.....





"DIOS ko, SEX n nmn inicp n2!"

Red Horse, 12Oct2006

Rdhorse
sNa
bbLin
k)
pEro naaLa2
kita kya
ngl0ad
nLng ak0
kHit
fv0rite
k0 un
ttiisn k0
kHit
mgLwy
pKo

an0
b
nMn
un
Rdhorse!



eh,mAs
mLkas kp
dun,,

"uy-ay", 12Oct2006

Mg ingat
s mga
laLaking
"uy-ay"


uy!
mAy
k)tse

ay!
hIram
pAla

uy!
bading

ay!
dAming
utang

uy!
mach)

ay!
sup0t
pala..BWAHAHAHA!

Milenyo's wrath, 12Oct2006

What did MILENYO say to the coconut tree?
"You better hold on to your nuts, boy! This aint no ordinary blow job!" (ENJOY THE RAINY DAY! HAVE SEX Wt SOMEONE).

Tax proposal, 12Oct2006

As proposed by GMA, sex will now be taxed. Upon penetration, VAT - Vaginal Access Tax. If more than ten minutes inside, Burial Tax. Upon withdrawal, Exit Tax. Those who don't have sex life, Idle Asset Tax. Those who practice withdrawal method of birth control, Withholding Tax. Entering other than wife - Road Users Tax. Kung multiple ejection, Multiple Taxation. Kung matuloy ito, sa'yo pa lang makakaahon na ang Pilipinas sa lahat ng utang!

Tatoo, 12Oct2006

Baldo: Pre lgyan mo nga ko ng tatoo.
Jun: Bkit?

Baldo: Mdlas kc ak)ng mpgkmlan n bading.
Jun: Cge san kta la2gyan ng tatoo?

Baldo: s kilay n lng pra mataray!

Bading sa Mecury, 12Oct2006

Bading: miss may XXL b kayo n condom?

Miss: meron po,bibili b kyo?



Bading: hindi, aabangan ko ung bibili nyan!

carry the cross, 12Oct06

Husband, coming home from church. Suddenly lifted his wife & carried her.

Wife: Wow! Did d priest tel u to be romantic?
Husband: No. He told me to carry my cross!

Introduction

This blog is all about the daily test messages that I receive from Pareng Edwin. There isn't a day that I don't receive a message from him except when I am in Malaysia.

I just found it interesting to compile. Some of them are funny, some are corny, and a few serious religious messages.

Maybe someday, I'm going to need all this. Who knows?